A vice called advice

My dear Billy, Many people turn to others for advice, and after having got a number of it, often contradictory, seek advice as to what advice it would be best to take. Some people swear that they are against vice in any form, including the vice presidency. But when you see the acts that they commit in private, and sometimes in public, you realize that their lives have been built on a sound pillar of vice. Well, to err is human, we are told, but to these people it certainly feels divine. Some people also feel that no vice is so bad as advice. They say that nothing is less sincere than our mode of asking and giving advice. He who goes to somebody for advice seems to do so out of deference for the latter’s opinion, while his only aim is to get approval of his own and make the other person responsible for his action. But I personally feel, my dear Billy, that every person, however wise, needs the advice of some sagacious friend in the affairs of life. Like Laertes in your own sanguinary play “Hamlet”. After admonishing Ophelia against the intentions of Prince Hamlet, Laertes sits down quietly and listens attentively to the counsel of his father, Polonius. Laertes was about to undertake a journey when the old Polonius felt the need to tender some advice to him, some of which are worth heeding to by people of all times and climes. “Be thou familiar”, he said “but by no means vulgar; the friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel.” And he goes on to say, “Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice; Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment…Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend.”His finishing advice is “This above all: to thine own self be true… Thou canst not then be false to any man.” Brave words, my dear Billy that you have put in the mouth of Polonius. But, as usual, they are easier said than done. Indeed, how is it possible to expect mankind to take advice when they will not so much as take warning? In the course of my existence, I have observed that giving advice is sometimes only showing our wisdom at the expense of another. And then there is the advice which is couched in proverbs, idioms and other maxims and aphorisms. One of these tells you to “Cut your coat according to your cloth”. There may be some wisdom in it, but don’t you believe it would be more sensible to cut your coat according to your size? Naturally, you should buy the adequate measure of cloth. “Slow and steady wins the race”, goes another proverb. But in our world of cutthroat competition, characterized by a perpetual rat race, slow and steady will win the race for the other competitors, while you will be left way behind. Then there’s this one which advises that “United we stand, divided we fall”. But in actual fact, it is becoming more and more apparent that if united we stand, divided we often stand better. Advice is seldom free of vested interest, my dear Billy. When a person needs advice, he normally goes to somebody he knows and is familiar with. But it often happens that the one whose advice is being sought will exploit the situation and turn it to his own advantage. He will thus knowingly give a wrong advice which will be to his own benefit, or whereby he too stands to gain, but satisfies the self-interest of the giver. It has also been observed that people give away nothing so liberally as their advice. However, this is not done with malice or ill-will. It is often done in a spirit of extending help and support, albeit the advice tendered is neither helpful nor does it lend any support. I had an eye problem recently and it was really heart-warming to see the army of friends, relatives, acquaintances and well-wishers sympathizing with me and praying for my prompt recovery. Among the lot there were many who came with their ready-made advice as to the dos and don’ts, which doctor to see, even prescribing the treatment and medicines, including carrot eating and carrot juice drinking. Yes, plenty of it, my dear Billy. They would not fail to back their advice with solid examples of cases they have personally witnessed where an eye patient has been cured after taking this or that medicine, without in the least bothering to find out whether we were suffering from the same ailment. But I do not blame them, my dear Billy, they have only been trying to help and show that they do care. And they are any time better than those who will tell you: “Why didn’t you ask me before? I would have done this or that”, or “you should have told me. I know a person who…” Advice, my dear Billy, is what we ask for when we already know the answer but we wish we didn’t. I have noticed that quite often when a person seeks your advice, he generally wants your praise. Also, advice is seldom welcome; those who need it most like it least. As for me, whenever a person comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he likes best, and I give it to him.