Hurly Burly of the Legal Profession: The Pupil Master’s View

Our friend Babarista has cause a stir in a teacup within some velvety quarters of the legal profession with his weekly antics of his journey to and from court in his imaginary appearances. This week, a pupil master has given Babarista a run for his money... and some dressing advice to go along, and the all important personal hygiene tips. Read on... I do not usually take pupils. As a sole practitioner, I spend my days in Court and my afternoons and evenings preparing my cases, and I do not therefore have the time necessary to commit to providing an effective pupillage to the next generation of barristers. However, since a few months, I have taken on a new pupil. One fine day, I came back from court, weary from a full day trial and Theon was sitting in the waiting room, wearing a hang dog expression on his face. He had been unable to secure a pupillage in any of the larger leading sets in Port Louis and was now desperately knocking on all doors. Whether his inability to get in those larger chambers was because he had failed some of his papers in his BPTC and had to resit them, as a result of which his more successful contemporaries had already taken up the available places at those larger chambers in the meantime or because his CV was bereft of anything meaningful other than university social clubs and events, and mini pupillages his relations had arranged for him, I do not know. But, I took pity on him and invited him to join chambers as a pupil. After all, pupillage is a win-win for both pupil and pupil master, and a pupil master always welcomes a good pupil – great at research, a useful sounding board for ideas and good company during quiet periods in court or in chambers. I hoped that in return, I could pass on to him some of the knowledge accumulated over years of practice and show him that side of practice he would never see in the big sets – the cut and thrust of advocacy down at the District Courts being one such side! On his first day, Theon came in late. That would become a trend. I had expected that a young professional would not need to be told about working hours. Of course, Theon had working hours of his own. Unfortunately, these working hours were 10am to 3pm (and that was on a good day – look for him at 2pm on another day, and my secretary would gleefully tell me that he was long gone). So, Theon was not a great fan of a structured working day. He was not a great fan of dressing the part either. He had all the dress sense of tramp outside Chancery Lane station. An ill-fitting suit and heavy sweat patches under his arms made him stand out like, well, a barrister with an ill fitting suit and heavy sweat patches under his arms. When he didn’t wear the ill fitting suit, he wore clothes which would not be out of place in a formal wedding reception. Whenever will pupils learn to dress appropriately? No problem, I thought. That’s what we pupil masters are here for. In our own way, we are little cogs in that great big wheel that turns baby barristers into full fledged barristers. Theon needs a little discipline. Nothing that a little chat on our way to or from court or in the middle of case preparation would not address. How disappointed I was. Theon was unable to hold an argument, and I quickly dispelled any idea that he would be a sounding board for my ideas. I also quickly dispelled any idea that he would do any research. I tried to get him involved in cases, I really tried. I thought I’d get him to work on the little matter of a poor old darling who got herself involved in possessing a little bit of stolen property. On the eve of the trial, and after he’d had the file for a good week, I asked him for the fruits of his work. I was worried that what I would get would be an academic essay and I had set aside half an hour to explain to him why he now needed to think like a lawyer and not as an LLB student. I need not have worried. The fruits of his labour consisted entirely of a photocopy of the relevant page of the criminal code and a printout of the first judgement that comes up when you search “possession of stolen property” on the supreme court database of judgements. Apparently, putting in an effort was not one of Theon’s great qualities, either. Not that Theon was idle in the office. Oh no. He was permanently connected to Facebook and social media. After a few days, he didn’t even bother switching screens when I walked in. He was always fiddling on his phone. I’d like to think he was messaging his friends and not doing anything more sinister with his phone. Much time was spent with other pupils organising lunch, coffee and after work meetings. I must say that Theon enjoyed accompanying me to Court. Although I am unable to say what he gained out of it because he came without reading the case file, doing any research or even taking notes while he was there. However, that did not prevent him from having very strong views about the case or those judging the case. Apparently, the little group of pupils had come to the conclusion that one particular judge was inept and incompetent. This was presumably based on their combined experience of zero month practice. Walking back from court after a particularly gruelling day in court, he expressed his absolute outrage that the judge had dared to engage counsel in debate about the case. When he started practice, he would not allow himself to be, as he saw it, humiliated by a judge in front of his client. Oh no! In his world, as an advocate faced with a judge he perceived as hostile, he would be like a jedi wielding his lightsabre against what he considered the forces of evil! In his fantasy world, I imagine he always ended up winning the fight. So as Theon’s time in Chambers ends, I feel I must wish him good luck for the future. Given his lack of talent and ability, he will need all the luck he can get!